37 Laps around the Glorious Sun

Well, where do I begin?

Perhaps with the humbling truth of it. How precious life really is, and what an absolute privilege it is to make another lap around the sun. I mean, when you actually stop and look at it properly, it feels a little outrageous. That we get to be here at all. That the days just keep handing themselves over like this.

Birthdays haven’t felt simple for a while now. Same with Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s, they’ve had a bit of a shadow trailing them the past couple of years. And this one, coming up, I could feel it early. The dread, but for other reasons this time. The first one without my best friend.

No 6 am phone call. No one to lift the corners of my mouth if the day tipped sideways. No one to share an unnecessarily extravagant cake with, the kind I always make, knowing full well it’s too much, and that she’d be delighted by that.

I kept turning it over in my head for a few days. What to do with it. How to meet it without just letting it run me over. And then I thought, no, fuck it! Not this year. We’d already cancelled our Agnes plans, and the Coast always pulls me back this time of year. Well, pretty much everything aligned. Fuel prices came down a skosh, filled up. An Airbnb in one of my favourite spots popped up at the last minute. Booked it. The address came through, right across from the beach. A 24/7 Pilates studio downstairs, and my favourite café three minutes down the road. Bloody rippa. The high ropes course we’ve been wanting to take the girls to had wide-open availability, tick. Weather? Spectacular, the whole damn week.

And then, something I’d been wanting for a while. An Ayurvedic facial with the beautiful Neralee at Flow Facials. We’d been orbiting each other online for ages, through Mikki Fisher’s The Red Tent, through Instagram, collaborations, and a Zoom consult, but never in the same room. She had a spot the day before my birthday. That was enough for me.

The whole trip was a surprise for the girls, and they were actual angels the entire time. Their reaction when we arrived at the unit was priceless ( it always is). We had next to no tech, not even Spotify in the car on the drive down. I took most of my photos on the Nikon and, of course, left the memory card reader at home. Phones came out here and there, high ropes, a few little videos, but mostly we just lived it. 

We read, swam, played games (the ridiculous kind that make no sense outside the moment), I’m hoping the girls introduce A-Roo at school! I cooked, and when we ate out, we did properly, moved our bodies, and soaked up the sun. I watched the sun rise and set over the ocean every day.

My treatment with Neralee was otherworldly. I’ll let you read my review, but if you’re on the Coast, book it. My birthday morning started in the dark, as it always does. A little black coffee, a piece of homemade chocolate on an empty stomach, because, well, it was my birthday. Sat on the beach with it. Meditated. Watched one of the best sunrises I’ve seen in a long time. Properly good. Walked back across the road, straight into an hour of my own thing on the reformer at the 24/7 Pilates joint, then upstairs, where my little cherubs had made cards and decorated the windows. Shannon had clearly been involved and was very proud of himself ha!. Dip in the pool, a bit more reading, then back up for a beautiful breakfast. One last stop at Glass Whole Foods, then we hit the road.

Because I’m an OCD psychopath, when we go away, the house has to be cleaned, laundry up to date, and fresh sheets have to be on the bed before we leave  - so the transition back from the Coast to the Bay was smooth, and allowed me plenty of time to prep and entertain the fam that afternoon/evening. A Big Beautiful Middle Eastern Spread & a Polish Mountain Cake - which I made out of love and dedication to my nan, and my father-in-law, who adores dessert as much as she did. A bit indulgent, a bit unnecessary, but in the best way. My niece and the girls choreographed a little dance and sang happy birthday, and then wrapped me in streamers, and then the boys fire twirled until I wanted to see the back of my eyelids.

I went to bed with a feeling of charmolypi; the feeling of smiling while something in you knows it cannot last. A sweetness edged with grief, like the last light of day or the final notes of a song you don’t want to end.

I wanted the day to feel beautiful, and not in a performative sense. Just full, intentional, and held. And it was. I received some beautiful handwritten cards from dear friends, sweet & thoughtful messages from other friends and loved ones, and I honestly couldn’t have asked for more than that.

As someone who rarely carves out time just for myself (unless it’s between 3 and 5 a.m.), I’m so glad I chose to celebrate myself. Don’t wait for the hard edges to disappear before you let something be good. Just keep going. You make something of it anyway. Sometimes, if you let it, the people you love will meet you there.

Anyhoo, after all the sunrises, the Pilates, the cake, and being aggressively wrapped in streamers, I have found myself back in the same place I always do, in the kitchen. It has taken me all of 3 weeks to get a new Sourdough Starter going, but it is going, and the Sourdough Bagels just came out of the oven, and a new dough is waiting for its next stretch and fold, fresh bread ready for our week to start anew.

School goes back on Monday, which honestly? I’m a little sad about it, but we have YOGA, and that is always something to look forward to!

If you have been active on socials, you would have seen a little change-up in the May timetable. This won’t take effect until May, so Classes this week are as per normal: Wednesday 6 am Integrated Yoga & Thursday 10:00 am YIN. 

There will be a couple of public holidays, and family birthdays somewhere in the mix of it all, so if you don’t see a class time, or appointment time scheduled/available, it will be safe to assume I’m closed that day :) - But I am looking forward to NEW Sunday & Monday sessions, and hope you are too!